My name is Lindy Hardwick and for the past year-and-a-half, I have been a mentor for Mandy, a young mother in the Young Parents Mentoring Program.

When two women in my church first told me about the mentoring program, I thought, “I should do that.” I felt as though God was somehow tapping me on the shoulder, trying to get my attention. By the next morning, however, I was full of excuses. My own children were then only 9 months old and 4 years old. We had only moved to Rolla a few weeks earlier. I told myself, “I can’t handle some needy teenager in my life.”

A short time later, both my children got the flu—one at a time. Michael, my husband, did all he could to help, but he was beginning a new job and extremely busy. I didn’t know too many people in town. I was exhausted and lonely. I felt trapped inside my house.

When we finally recovered enough to attend a church dinner, one of the women asked me, “So, have you decided to become a mentor?” I put my head down on the table and cried, “I can’t be a mentor! I NEED a mentor!!” I was too tired to be embarrassed. Even with all that I had had going for me—a great husband, a good income, an excellent education—I was at my wits’ end.

Those two women knew just what to do. They brought me a hot plate of food and some tissues. They took over and fed Molly and Thomas. Mainly, they listened. They told me I was doing a great job as a mom.

I later thought about what they had done for me that night. I had often quoted that well-known proverb: It takes a whole village to raise a child. I now realized that sometimes it also takes a whole village to support a new mother. So, I became a mentor.

When I first met Mandy, she was 19 years old and the mother of an infant daughter, Izabelle. I was impressed by her openness and her intelligence. I was gratified to learn that she and Izabelle were living with her mother and stepfather and getting great support from them. Did she really need me? I came to understand my role in this way: listen, listen and listen some more.

What Mandy lacked most of all was confidence—confidence in herself and in her ability to be a good mother. After graduating from high school, she had had a series of bad relationships, ending with Izabelle’s father, who, sadly, showed very little interest in his beautiful daughter.

Mandy had a spotty employment record, mainly fast food jobs. At one point, she worked as a waitress in a local pizza place. I remember how she told me one night, “It was a good thing I got so many tips last night. I was down to four diapers.” I knew what it was like to feel stress as the mother of a baby—but I had never lived only four diapers away disaster.

Mandy did receive diapers and other practical help from the Partnership. She bought baby clothes and equipment at the Baby Bucks parties. She attended classes on abusive relationships and on good parenting, both of which challenged her to do better. She learned how to ensure that she would receive child support payments from Izabelle’s father. Mandy began to trust that there were people “out there” who cared.

Most of all, Mandy began to believe in herself and to envision a better life for herself and for Izabelle. She enrolled in a business college and is now less than 6 months away from earning a degree in medical technology. She is currently working as an intern at a local pediatrician’s office.

Mandy is extremely proud of Izabelle, who is now 20 months old. Izabelle is learning new words every day and is full of smiles and energy. Most importantly, Mandy is now proud of herself.

I no longer think of Mandy as “my mentee” but as my friend. Mandy had an opportunity to talk about our relationship last spring. I was very touched when she said that she planned to reserve one of her family tickets so that I may attend her graduation this spring. But I have told Mandy I want to make a promise to her as well. I hope to be at her side in about 20 years to cheer as Izabelle follows in her mom’s footsteps and graduates from college.